Date: 13th June 2012 at 12:56pm
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Devoid of any actual transfer news, Beesotted catches up with the UK’s least factually accurate football pundit…

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I was on the 65 bus the other day and overheard a bloke talking about the fact that we are trying to sign Charlton striker Paul Hayes. We aint. We are trying to sign a bloke called Paul FROM Hayes who can apparently run quicker than a train. Can’t trap a ball for toffee mind you.

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You know why we let Sam Wood go on a free? Because he has got a tattoo of Andy Scott on his left thigh which he did as a dare in Vegas after we won the League Two title. By all accounts the sight of it used to make some of the other players cry in the changing room. He’s got a tattoo of Shakira on his right leg.

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Part of the reason Harlee Dean agreed terms is that we have agreed to launch a fragrance range in his name through the club shop. Word has it that it’s going to be called ‘Harlee Dean – the scent of success’ and smells a bit like Brut.



Apparently new signing Stuart Dallas is really called Stuart O’Shea but changed his name by deed poll due to an obsession with his favourite TV programme – 1980s American soap opera Dallas. His older brother has changed his name as well – he’s called Seamus Multicoloured SwapShop.